how to get the best tax refund is legit haunting me rn—cross-legged on my sagging couch in brooklyn, window cracked cuz it’s stuffy, october but feels like july still?? laptop’s hot af on my lap, cheeto dust everywhere, turbotax keeps freezing on a 1099 i swear i already entered. last year i straight up forgot my etsy side hustle made like 47 bucks and IRS sent me a letter that had me ugly crying into frozen peas. but this year im tryna max out tax refund like its my side gig. anyway here’s the unfiltered mess from a girl who’s been broke enough to figure some shit out.
how to get the best tax refund without totally losing it (like i did)
im not a cpa. im the dummy who tried writing off “emotional support tacos” once. didn’t work. but after three years of screwing up and one saint named tina at h&r block, i turned my sad $800 refund into $3200 last april. secret? treat taxes like a treasure hunt for money the government forgot they owe you.
- track every receipt like a paranoid squirrel. i got a folder says “TAX STUFF OR ELSE” and shove everything in—uber from doordash shifts, cvs printer ink, vet bill for my cats anxiety meds (service animal?? maybe??).
- side hustle = free money. redbubble made $312. reported it. got $87 back just for breathing.
- goodwill receipts. dropped three bags, kept the list. $200 deduction easy.
mistakes that murder your tax refund (been there)
2022 i filed single instead of head of household cuz i “didn’t feel like a household.” lost eleven hundred bucks. don’t be me. also never round charity—irs wants exact 37 cents not your vibe. forgot my hsa once?? left $1800 on the table cuz i thought hsa meant huge stress attack.
how to get the best tax refund by not being an idiot about deductions
itemizing used to scare me but its just adult pokémon gotta catch em all. medical over 7.5% agi? mine hit $4200 cuz therapy and an ER trip after i tried skateboarding at 34 (bad idea). student loans? still paying those bitches. home office? measured my 8×10 “office” (bedroom corner) with a chipotle receipt. got $300.
tools that saved my tax refund (and my will to live)
- irs free file cuz im cheap
- cash app taxes now (rip credit karma)
- reddit spreadsheet but i added a “vibes” column cuz im extra
adjust your w4 mid year!! i did after a raise and didn’t owe $600. felt like a hacker.
the 3am moment i knew id nailed how to get the best tax refund
april 14th 3:17am deposit hit $3247. screamed so loud neighbor banged the wall. venmo’d myself $500 for “mental health tacos” and paid a credit card. rest went to emergency fund cuz adulthood is a scam.
ok im done rambling—go get your fat refund
anyway how to get the best tax refund aint magic its just not being lazy and treating receipts like lotto tickets. start now even if you’re sweaty in a hoodie at 1am like me. folder. tracker. text your clients for 1099s. future you will high five you.
yo drop your worst tax fail below—i’ll roast it with love and maybe save you a deduction. try these hacks and tag me. lets make IRS our sugar daddy.
still freaking? use the irs withholding tool to fix your w4. or steal turbotax deduction list i miss stuff constantly. you got this.