Man, choosing the right estate planning lawyer hit me like a freight train last Tuesday when I was elbow-deep in a bag of stale Cheetos on my couch in Columbus, Ohio, watching the Browns choke again. I’m talking orange dust everywhere, my dog snoring on the will draft I printed off some sketchy online template—yeah, that’s when the panic set in. Like, holy crap, if this heartburn doesn’t kill me first, who’s getting my mismatched sock collection? Anyway, here’s my unfiltered disaster diary on how to choose estate planning lawyer without wanting to yeet yourself into Lake Erie.
Why I Screwed Up Choosing My First Estate Planning Lawyer (Spoiler: He Ghosted)
Look, I’m not proud. Found this dude on Yelp—five stars, looked like my uncle’s golf buddy. Met him in a Starbucks that smelled like burnt espresso and regret. He nodded while I rambled about my crypto wallet (don’t judge) and my mom’s hideous china set nobody wants. Charged me $500 just to “start the conversation.” Then? Radio silence for six weeks. I’m over here stress-eating gas station sushi, texting him eggplant emojis out of desperation. Lesson learned: choose estate planning lawyer who actually answers texts before your inheritance becomes a meme.
Red Flags I Ignored When I Tried to Choose Estate Lawyer #1
- Talked more about his lake house than my actual assets (bro, I live in a 900 sq ft ranch).
- Used phrases like “standard boilerplate” while eyeing my Cheetos like I owed him royalties.
- Sent invoices faster than he sent drafts. Seriously.
The Questions I Wish I’d Asked to Choose the Right Estate Planning Attorney
After the ghosting incident, I chugged a lukewarm LaCroix and made a list on the back of an eviction notice (long story, roommate owed me for Venmo’d pizza). Here’s what actually matters when you choose estate planning lawyer:
- Do you handle hot messes? Because my family fights over who gets the 1997 VHS of Space Jam.
- Flat fee or hourly vampire? I need to know if I’m selling plasma to pay for clause 47(b).
- Ever had a client cry in your office? If yes, bonus points for tissues and zero judgment.
Pro tip: Ask for references from people who aren’t, like, their mom. I called one—turns out she was his paralegal. Awkward.
How to Vet Credentials Without Sounding Like a Paranoid Uncle
I’m sipping burnt Folgers right now staring at the Ohio Bar Association website (ohiobar.org)—turns out you can actually check if your estate planning lawyer has more complaints than my fantasy football team. Look for:
- Board-certified in estate planning (fancy badge = less likely to vanish).
- Malpractice insurance (because accidents happen, like naming your cat as executor).
- Recent CLE credits—if they’re still using 1980s tax code, run.
I once hired a guy whose “office” was a WeWork cubicle next to a guy selling CBD toothpaste. Hard pass.
The Money Talk: How Much Should Choosing Estate Planning Lawyer Cost?
Okay, real talk—I’m not Bezos. Average cost in Ohio? $2,000–$5,000 for a basic will/trust combo (nerdwallet.com breakdown). But here’s where I messed up:
- Paid $1,200 for a “consultation” that was just him Googling my questions.
- Found a gem later for $2,800 total who threw in free notarization and didn’t laugh at my Beanie Baby collection.
Shop around like it’s Black Friday for your mortality.
Pro Moves to Save Cash When You Choose Estate Lawyer
- Bundle services (will + trust + healthcare directive = combo meal vibes).
- Ask about payment plans (some do 0% interest—wild).
- Avoid anyone pushing “premium packages” with gold-embossed folders. Hard no.
Finding Your Estate Planning Lawyer Soulmate (Yes, It’s a Vibe Check)
By lawyer #3, I was feral. Walked into her office—plants everywhere, actual photos of her kids, smelled like lavender instead of despair. She laughed when I admitted I once tried to leave my Netflix password to my niece. We clicked. Key signs you’ve found the one to choose estate planning lawyer:
- Explains crap in plain English, not Latin.
- Asks about your weird family dynamics (looking at you, Cousin Todd).
- Follows up with actual humans, not auto-replies.
Her name’s Sarah—shoutout if you’re reading this, you saved my sanity (central Ohio estate attorneys directory).
My Final Hot Take on Choosing the Right Estate Planning Lawyer
I’m wrapping this up while my dog farts in his sleep—glamorous, right? Bottom line: choose estate planning lawyer like you’re swiping on Tinder but with higher stakes. Trust your gut, verify the credentials, and don’t ignore red flags just because they have a nice tie. I wasted $1,800 and six months of anxiety to learn this. You don’t have to.
Your move: Grab your phone right now. Text three local attorneys: “Hey, can we chat about my inevitable demise without bankruptcy?” The one who responds first with actual words? Start there. And if you’re in Ohio, tell Sarah I sent you—she owes me tacos.
*(P.S. If anyone wants my *Space Jam* VHS, it’s yours. Just pay shipping.)*